Sunday 29 July 2007

I found a crumb but the taste was bitter.


Most people will have a certain thought, a certain doubt once or many times during their life.

You wake up one morning and go about your usual business, have breakfast, get dressed, maybe go to work or maybe just have a day off. Everything is going more or less according to plan and all along in the distance you know you are slowly inching towards your goal. Every step you take is moving you closer to where you think you want to be, where you believe you will find some fulfillment. You could reach it tomorrow or perhaps it is three years away or maybe you just achieved that goal that seemed so far away so long ago. But suddenly something hits you. It just pops up out of nowhere and within seconds everything seems to have changed.

What are you actually doing? And more importantly why? Is this achievement actually going to make you any happier? Is it in any way going to satisfy you or make you feel you have got everything you could possibly want?
When that thought materializes out of nothing, when you seem to have lost your drive, you stand in grave danger of falling into the abyss of meaninglesness. After all, what is that achievement really worth in the context of things? How is it going to change anything? In the end, it is all going to be a waste anyway isn't it?

When one reaches this turning point many people chose the same path. You evade this deep set question asking what life is really worth. You block it out and cover it up with some grander fantasy, something even harder to achieve, something that must make you happy and fulfilled and content when you reach it. You may even aim for something that will make the poor richer, the sick healthier and the world a better place. And that little speck of doubt lingering at the back of your mind is just washed away in the river of excitement, of departure to new boundaries.
But then, 10 years later maybe, once you have reached that goal or even before, when you give up as obstacles seem insurmountable, that gushing stream of grandeur has dried away and left nothing but dry bedrock and a little pebble. A pebble that seems to grow with every moment until a towering cliff standsbefore you. This black cliff of questioning despair could crumble and crush you in an instant. What is left now? How could you possibly go on?

When that time comes and one looks for truth, for some meaning, many a person will turn to religion, to that last straw that can bring meaning to your life. And fair enough, if it makes you happy then you deserve it, just like any being deserves to be fulfilled.
But religion with all its rules, its prophets and prophecies, its grand aspirations and dreams has one fatal flaw when bringing fulfillment to humans. That flaw is the nature of its "truth".
Religion without exception conjures up its "truth" from texts and scriptures, from ancient stories, from visions of heaven or nirvana and finally from its prophets. And just as this "truth" is conjured up from the outside it can be crushed and torn apart by outside forces. Thus even those holy domains of thought are no perfect sanctuary for a person's happiness and fulfillment. For all the greatness religion may promise, it can not protect from doubt.
There is only one path that can lead to happiness, fulfillment, truth, enlightenment or however you may call it. And that path can only be blazed by oneself, it can only be built and strengthened by own thoughts and ideas, by personal inspiration.
The path of enlightenment is long, it is hard and dangerous for some, but the greatness, the riches and the wonders that lay in wait for those who only open their eyes could be described by Jesus, by Muhammad and Buddha the same, just not by their followers.
So find the will to open your eyes and search without and within as the world is a single wonder.




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